achievement
non sibi sed toti

Classics Teaching Resources

How to behave at dinner parties

In Roman literature shoes are often mentioned in connection with dinner parties. When a Roman set out to dine with his friend or patron he wore his calcei while his slave carried his soleae, his indoor shoes, under his arm. Horace, sending Vinnius with scrolls to Augustus, begs him not to carry them under his arm 'like a guest carrying his soleae to the house of a fellow-tribesman.' At the entrance to the host's house, the Roman took off his muddy or dusty shoes and put on his sandals. Many people still observe this excellent custom. At an Ephesus pension I noticed how the owner and his wife took off their shoes and left them on the landing before entering their flat. Taking off one's shoes before entering a mosque is not, I have been told, a matter of religion (like Moses at the Burning Bush: Take off thy shoes ... for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground) so much as of respect for the carpets; perhaps that is why I was shouted at when I stepped on a carpet right outside a mosque before removing my shoes. Apparently one may put on felt over-shoes instead. But let us return to the Roman entering his host's house.

Wearing his sandals he went into the dining room, where a slave removed them so that he could recline barefoot on one of the upholstered couches. Martial assumes this custom when he writes of dining with Ligurinus:
I had hardly put off my soleae when in comes an immense volume, among the lettuces and sharp sauce.
In other words, they had scarcely sat down to dinner when the host began to inflict his poems on his luckless guest. If any of the diners had to leave the table for any reason during the meal, he called for his sandals. In Horace Satire II.8 Fundanius tells Horace of the disastrous dinner party held by Nasidienus, during which "the awning suspended above collapsed on the dish (of lamprey), wreaking appalling havoc." Another guest of philosophical bent speaks words that comfort the unfortunate host, and:
Nasidienus answered "May heaven send you all
the blessings you pray for! You're a fine man and a delightful guest!"
And he called for his slippers.
Only with his slippers on could he go to the kitchen and arrange a substitute dinner.

When the Roman dinner was over, the guests called for their soleae or even directly for their calcei. One imagines that the slaves cleaned their masters' outdoor shoes during the meal, ready for the walk home. It seems unlikely that the guest would call for outdoor shoes to walk directly from the dining room if they were not clean, and certainly not if they were the hobnailed variety. Imagine the discomfort and damage caused by walking over mosaic floors in the equivalent of rugby boots.

On the stage, meals had to be taken out of doors if the audience were to see them, but the indoor etiquette of shoes was observed. Meals in Plautus sometimes ended hurriedly. When another character was expected, one character wants all traces of the meal to disappear, and commands:
cedo soleas mihi; auferte mensam.
In Mostellaria, the hero Philolaches' father is expected, and everyone has to be on best behaviour when he comes. A drunken friend joins the on-stage party and falls asleep. Philolachus manages to wake him eventually, saying
My father will be here in a minute.
Your father, did you say? Give me my shoes!
Martial, who picks up on the unfortunate and the hypocrites, adds three more vignettes to our collection of anecdotes on shoes at the dinner party. The first unfortunate was Cotta, who complained that he had twice lost his soleae through his slave's negligence; Martial hints that this was a fictitious excuse to go out to dinner barefoot, excalceatus, while the real reason for lack of shoes was his extreme poverty. The second fellow-guest of Martial's was such a cleptomaniac that if there was nothing else to steal at a dinner party (we remember Asinius who stole Catullus' dinner napkins) he would steal his own shoes from his slave - an extraordinary and pointless action, surely. The third Martial situation was when when you had no slave present to fetch your shoes for you:
defuerit si forte puer, soleasque libebit
sumere, pro puero pes erit ipse sibi.
Your feet will act the part of slave for you. We find it hard to imagine a society where fetching your own shoes was a big deal.